Having celebrated well over a month of birthday events from February into April, I make a concerted effort for month of April to prioritise sleep (or at the very least, restful relaxation), with some success of reducing my goals and the intensity with which I tend to live my life. But as life-long habits that make one feel alive are challenging to change, my Thorny Roses anniversaries celebrations continue—this year many of them are marked with a newly composed poem or with some form of sharing my poetry with others.
This April marks my second year of enjoying single life again, and I celebrate it reminiscing about past loves, reading a top-secret message from an old love, and writing a poem inspired by a new one, entitled “Our Quieting”.
In May, I celebrate 13 years of enjoying my high-perched abode in the West End of Vancouver, with its spectacular views and location. It is a home with by far the deepest roots that I have ever set.
In June, on the heels of having my contributions to the creation of BCIT’s Sustainable Energy Management Advanced Certificate (SEMAC) program recognised at the 5-year reunion of its first graduates, I celebrate the 1-year anniversary of completing my last contract in a series that spanned my 3-year tenure at Natural Resources Canada.
June also marks the 1st year since my last breast cancer surgery. This was the 5th surgery related to my breast cancer, and I celebrate it with a life-affirming visit to a gardening store, where a garden fairy statue inspires a breast cancer-related poem out of me, entitled “Releasing”.
A month later, in July, I celebrate the 6th anniversary of my 1st breast cancer surgery—the one to which the 5-year cancer survival statistics would apply had I not been diagnosed with my recurrence few months shy of 5 years. For this occasion, I share my myelin sheath-healing bone broth Tomato, Basil, Kidney Bean and Chicken Livers Soup with a lovely dinner companion, and we spend the evening contemplating the 6-poem submissions that I make to the literary magazine poetry contest by Room Magazine. Also for this occasion, I treat myself to a unique and enjoyable healing touch experience of professional cuddling from The Cuddlery, which also inspires a poem—this one entitled “Strangers Embracing”.
Looking forward a little, in August, I look forward to celebrating 31 years of living in Canada and 18 years of living in Vancouver—both quite remarkable places to live out parts of one’s life.
Meanwhile, my recent tentative plans (or perhaps more accurately, dreams) of living in France for a year are presently and indefinitely on the back burner while I enjoy the life I have weaved for myself right where I currently am: in Vancouver, Canada.
My efforts for learning the French language, however, continue, although admittedly in less earnest—another goal I decided to deprioritise—in the form of occasional practice through the online Conversation Exchange portal, translation of some of my poetry into French, and playing tour guide to some Parisian couchsurfers by showing them around Yaletown in Vancouver and on a hike to Bowen Island.
I continue various healing modalities at the holistic wellness organisation, Friends For Life, including naturopathic, physiotherapy, counselling, massage, member brunches and other support opportunities. I turn my love of cooking, my recent re-discovery of bone broth soups, and my exercise-motivating need for cycling destinations into a healing touch for others when I play Meals on Wheels (or rather, Meals on Bikes to deliver my large (1L) peanut butter containers filled with healthful bone broth soups to some new friends who have received worse health news than me. When the opportunity arises to go for an afternoon sea kayaking paddle on Bowen Island, I gladly join a small group of my new friends, give my left electric arm a fun stretch workout, and contribute my skills of steering a double on a lovely and healing adventure.
In the 10th month of my painful neuropathy symptoms, which I affectionately refer to as my left electric arm, my neurological test results are confirmed by my MRI results that, so far, there is no permanent nerve or muscle damage along the arm, nothing is pressing on the nerves in my shoulder, and oncologically, no new cancer (or “tumour infiltration”) is evident in my shoulder and spine area—i.e., the site of radiation treatment from last year. The MRI does, though, show possible scar tissue in the top corner of my lung likely related to the radiation, “…however a metastatic deposit from…breast malignancy cannot be excluded”.
So, it is good news for the left arm, and neither my oncologist nor I are too concerned that the lung result is cancerous, but the possibility is there and naturally, it is a little stressful—but I know that stress will certainly not help the situation, and my option for monitoring the spot on the lung is to receive more radiation in the form of CT scans—so I am working on letting it go.
However, I am no closer to a resolution of this neuropathy problem, and my previous tricks from five years ago of increasing aerobic exercises for resolving my neuropathy following my chemotherapy treatments are not working this time.
Other than “give it time” (at nearly a year of the electric arm pain) and educated conjecture about possible damage to the myelin sheath around my nerves, my oncologist does not have anything else to advise, so on my way home from my oncologist, I stop by InspireHealth to get advice from the nutritionist for supporting neuropathy recovery with nutrition and supplements. I receive some good suggestions about sources of the building blocks for that (primarily proteins and fats), with specific ideas for enhancing my bone broth soups and for increasing my lecithin intake along with my doses of vitamin C and B Complex to help with collagen production (i.e., the tissue recovery substance).
I also plan to continue with semi-regular floating and neurospa (syncing sound and massage vibrations) sessions, energy healings and gentle massages, as those have been helpful at least in the moment and possibly extending into some decreases in electric pain sensations throughout the day since I have been doing these in the last several weeks.
As I try to get back to capturing my story in a book, my efforts are challenged this week by the uncertainty of being inadvertently exposed to the chickenpox virus during my MRI appointment. Since I cannot be sure whether I have had chickenpox as a child, which would make me immune to it, and thus not a carrier of the contagious virus, my main concern is for the friends in my support circle whose immune systems are more compromised than my own. I have one more week during which the virus may activate itself—just around the same time I am told I can expect to receive my chickenpox anti-bodies blood test results.
So, I go about my days, continuing my health recovery, feeling a little like a ticking time-bomb, learning what I can, and taking as many precautions as possible without completely quarantining myself, feeling grateful for my immune system once again, and reminding myself where true healing comes from—writing about it in verse and prose.
“The body heals with play, the mind heals with laughter and the spirit heals with joy.” Proverb